What is the Church of the Great Penguin?

It's mostly prophylactic. You know when people come to your door trying to sell you a religion, and you really don't want one, but they're so earnest and scrubbed you can't be mean to them, but if you admit you don't have or want a religion, you'll never get rid of them?

The Church of the Great Penguin is the perfect answer.

You don't have to do anything to be part of the church except keep some food around in case the Great Penguin drops by (She's a bit of a mooch.)

That way, you can politely (and truthfully) tell all religion salesdroids "No thank you, I already have one."

And if you really want to bend their brain, print out our free brochure and give them some literature. If they have a sense of humor, they'll leave you alone. And if not, hopefully they'll regard you as a dangerous nutcase and stay far away from you from then on.

(The Church of the Great Penguin is a wholly-owned subsidiary of the weekly Pengcognito web cartoon.)